Mark Manson - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Not giving a f*ck is talking about values, but not to be indifferent about everything.

Even though social values are the ones we care about the most, values for most people are not necessarily the same. The books listed the details of goals that we should give a fuck about and we can ignore the unimportant values.

1. Don't try

The chapter starts with a story about Charles Bukowski who is a well-known poet and a total drunk.

The idea is that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.

The concept mentioned in "Why we sleep" by Matthew Walker, humans are the only creature that is able to be in retrospect and predict the possible future. Thinking of how can we improve in the promising future is our instinct, everyone prefers improvement to degeneration. However, pursuing positivity is actually a negative process because there's always enough room for improvement. The more we thirst, the more we are unsatisfied.

If you're giving a fuck about nothing, then you're giving a fuck about not giving a fuck. (The tongue twister is really philosophical and impressively amazing. )

If you're always worried about what others think about you. The problem is not other's opinions, it is you don't have better things to worry about.

2. Happiness is a problem

Negative emotions have an inherent purpose. They help us.

Everyone is eager to have happiness because it's great and fantastic. Step back and think, isn't the one that makes you suffer makes you stronger? Tough breakups, the death of family members, and business failures taught better lessons than happy hours.

What pain do I want in my life?
What are you willing to struggle for?

The earlier you answer the questions, the more prepared you're while facing society. The answer to the questions is the decisive elements that how your life turns out.

3. You are not special

The author started with Jimmy who is a friend and con artist. Stories are brutal and funny and Jimmy thinks that he is exceptional and extraordinary which is far from the truth.

I'm awesome and the rest of you suck, so I deserve special treatment. — Grandiose Narcissism

I suck and the rest of you suck, so I deserve special treatment. — Victim Narcissism

Everyone can be extraordinary and achieve greatness. ⇒ that is some kind of bullshit. If everyone is special, then who is special?

4. The value of suffering

Not giving a f*ck is talking about values, but not to be indifferent about everything.

Even though social values are the ones we care about the most, values for most people are not necessarily the same. The books listed the details of goals that we should give a fuck about and we can ignore the unimportant values.